


So How Old Are You?

by thewolvesrunwild



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Banter, Fluff, Gen, Team Bonding, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26240158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewolvesrunwild/pseuds/thewolvesrunwild
Summary: Nile asks a simple question and opens a millennia old can of worms.Based off this tumblr post: https://waterbird13.tumblr.com/post/627284300303335424/nicky-and-joe-get-on-a-domestic-cute-teasing
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman & Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Comments: 18
Kudos: 433





	So How Old Are You?

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the tumblr post about Nicky and Joe bantering about who's older and also my own boyfriend teasing me about being a whole year older than him.

They were all sitting down to eat one night when Nile's curiosity finally got the best of her and she asked one of the questions that didn't really need to be answered, but she'd like to know anyway.

"So how old are you two exactly? Like, what year were you born?" she asked, looking between Joe and Nicky.

"The year of our Lord 1069," Nicky responded, moving the last of the serving plates to the table.

Joe smiled. "458 for me," he said.

"Wait, what?! I thought you two became immortal at the same time!"

Nicky lightly hit Joe's arm as the other man chuckled.

"We did," he explained to Nile. "This one just likes to tease."

"It's not my fault everyone's using the wrong calendar," Joe said, lightly flicking Nicky's arm in retaliation.

"Why does it even matter?" Andy asked, finally making her way over to sit at the table between Quỳnh and Booker.

Joe picked up his fork and waved it at her in a manner that was no way threatening. "Those born before civilization and calendars don't get to speak on the topic."

Quỳnh laughed and Andy rolled her eyes.

"Then I guess those born before the invention of dishwashers don't get to use them when it's their night to do the dishes?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Nile and Booker laughed at Joe's horrified expression. It was his night to do the dishes after all. And the safe house they were in was one of the more updated ones, meaning a dishwasher. He and Nicky may have overindulged a bit in their dish usage while making dinner because of it.

"Okay, but seriously," Nile said when she caught her breath, "in a way I'll understand, what year were you born, Joe?"

"1066," he said. "I'm three years older than Nicky." Joe smiled smugly at his husband.

"Ah yes, but  _ habibi _ , I became immortal first and therefore have more experience with it," Nicky said back, expression indulgent like a parent gently correcting a child.

Nile laughed. "Wow Joe,  _ three _ whole years older? You're such a cradle robber."

"Cradle robber?" Joe repeated.

While they kept up to date on current events, Nile would often still catch them off guard with pop culture references, either due to their age or lack of proximity to the United States in the past few decades. Nile was a little surprised they hadn't heard the term before since it had always seemed so old to her.

"It's when someone's way older than their partner. Like when guys in their fifties date twenty year olds," she explained. "Obviously it's not for like, a three year gap, but if you two are gonna argue about your age," she trailed off after that, smiling at them.

Nicky responded with the biggest grin Nile had ever seen on him.

“Now you’ve done it,” Quỳnh laughed. “They have been having this argument since before Andromache and I even met them. You have just given them more fuel.”

“This feels unfairly balanced,” Joe grumbled, but his eyes were filled with mirth.

“Cradle robbers should not speak of things being out of balance when you clearly planned this all to be in your favor,” Nicky told him primly, features schooled into a calm mask. Nile could still see a smile tugging at his lips as he went to take a bite of his food.

“Andy, I’m kicking Nile out of the group,” Joe said.

“Don’t you need a majority vote for that?” Booker asked, finally contributing to their childish bickering.

“Not anymore. I’m making this a dictatorship. Nile’s out.”

Nile just shrugged. “Fine by me. Yo Nicky, you wanna join my new group of immortals?”

“I would love to, Nile.”

“Betrayed by my own heart!”

“Hey, Nile,” Quỳnh leaned over conspiratorially. “May I join your group as well?”

“Of course!” Nile grinned. “We’d love to have you!”

“Alright, now I’m actually getting worried,” Booker said. “The three of them together is a terrible combination.”

Andy just shrugged and took another bite of her food. “They’re their own team now. It’s not our problem.”

Joe shook his head. “The young have no respect for the elderly anymore.”


End file.
